The reflected lights of the empty night glistened in the rain-soaked street. The hard click of loafers on pavement cuts through the silence and the sound of loose gravel crunching under heel is heard with each step … if this were a movie.

 

But, this isn’t a movie, and in fact the streets aren’t wet because it didn’t rain. This is Los Angeles, we don’t know what rain is and when it does rain there’s an absolute melt down as everyone calls a light mist a storm. And news stations heighten the fear and anxiety with 24-hour wall-to-wall coverage of, “Oh my goodness! There’s liquid falling from the sky! It’s a storm. It’s a storm! It’s a STORM! We’re at a category 1 mist which could quickly turn into a category 2 light shower STORM!”

 

Ahem.

 

And I’m wearing sneakers, so as not to make any sound. That’s what a good private dick does. In fact, that’s why they were called gumshoes because they wore gum soled shoes so as not to make a sound. That would be a bad thing in their/my line of business.

 

I don’t even have a lone wailing saxophone playing a tortuously lamenting tune filled with sharps and flats that echoes through the night. That would really give me away to my quarry.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love movies. Almost any movie actually. I get it. It would be pretty boring if they did everything as in real life. You need that ambient sound-type stuff to raise tension and emotion and make you feel like you’re there.

 

You know, a dude walking silently across the screen is kind of boring, doesn’t give you atmosphere. And I love it, in the movies. Which this isn’t, of course. And – it’s bone dry and still hot. I mean, L.A. Am I right? We could use a little cold rain every now and then.

 

Did I just have a stream of consciousness? Crap. So much for my inner monologue. And unfortunately, I can’t start over either since, well, I’m already at my destination and I’m not going to walk back to where I was and start over.

 

Sorry about that. Maybe on my next case, sweetheart, I’ll get this inner monologue thing down.

 

I can hear you.

 

No, you can’t.