This is Butterscotch.

 

And, she is a princess.

 

Just look at that cutie! Fawn with a white snout and a perfect streak of white between her highly expressive eyes. Always ready to greet you with a wagging tail and a happy wiggle. A movement that quickly spawned the expression ‘wonka-wonka’ which in turn increased the excitement and the ‘wonka-wonka’. What a joy, and what a blessing!

 

And, like all princesses, she was rescued. That’s not too surprising, is it? After all, aren’t all princesses at some point in time rescued? It seems to be a defining mark of a princess. Then, after being rescued, they become some of the greatest leaders and icons of their time. So, it shall be with Butterscotch.

 

This is the beginning of her story.

 

Left alone and neglected in the ‘hood’, she was discovered while jaunting through a parking lot searching for scrap at a fried-chicken drive-through. She was unaware that she had been spotted by two strangers driving by in a horse-less chariot. Sweeping in, the two strangers jumped out and to their surprise easily and without much coaxing escorted her into the chariot.

 

In time they would learn that she loved chariot rides.

 

The strangers drove around trying to find her original home because they themselves did not live in a place that accepted princesses. The time spent driving around with Butterscotch was such a joy as she sat calmly and at peace looking out the window. The strangers easily fell in love with the princess and made a plan to rescue her.

 

After dropping Butterscotch off at the shelter for lost princesses and princes, the two strangers set about leaving their oppressive regime. In short order, they found a kingdom that accepted princesses. Huzzah! Once they were settled, the two returned to pick up a now healthier and cleaner Butterscotch.

 

It was going to take time for everyone to get used to the new living arrangements and schedules. Butterscotch’s overall easygoing nature and happiness helped the process go pretty smoothly. Although, there was that one time …

 

Her new roomies had been keeping some of their warehouse club purchases out in the open as they were trying to figure out a good storage solution. One of the biggest packages was the toilet paper. 40 jumbo rolls amounting to eighty thousand sheets. It didn’t seem like a big deal to the roomies. As far as they could tell, Butterscotch wasn’t interested in the massive plastic covered package. What they didn’t know, because they didn’t have cameras monitoring the situation, was that Butterscotch had been checking out that massive plastic monument.

 

The roomies assumed that since the TP monument had gone untouched for several days it was safe to leave it where it was.

 

Butterscotch assumed since the monument was never moved or hidden, it was there as a gift from her adoring court.

 

There’s a reason why you should never assume …

 

One day, one of the roomies returned from work and stood dumbfounded in the entry way. A blizzard had hit their abode. The plastic TP monument was ripped apart and there was shredded white “snow” everywhere.

 

Butterscotch, gratefully happy, came running up to greet her shocked friend, only to be met by a stern and angry, “No!”

 

Butterscotch was perplexed; her happiness turned to fear. What was going on? She only ‘partied’ with the gift that was left for her. Maybe it was the poop that was scattered about the room, but that’s what people use toilet paper for, right?

 

The roomie was mad, but there was no hitting, or kicking or any violence. Even the stern, “No!” and pointing at the poop probably didn’t mean much. The event was over. There would be little context to those machinations. Butterscotch was already scared as it was. Besides, the roomies hadn’t put the TP in a place that was safe, it was more, “My bad,” than, “Your bad.”

 

Soon, the roomie started to chuckle. He could just imagine the spectacle that had taken place earlier that day, with Butterscotch jumping around ecstatic ripping up toilet paper everywhere going, “Woo-hoo! Paaaaarty!” and being so excited that she had to poop several times, losing all control. Even her other roomie was able to laugh at the spectacle after she came home a few minutes later and after at first being quite unhappy.

 

A little embarrassing for a princess? Yes. But sometimes you just ‘gotta cut loose’.

 

The memory of that event still brings a chuckle to the couple and the princess, to this day.

 

And so, the chronicles of Butterscotch begin.