Everyone says that squirrels don’t come out at night. And they’re right. Squirrels are not out at night … except the bad ones. That’s where I come in. I’m on patrol. If they’re out there, I’m gonna know about it … and I’m gonna get ‘em. Rats, too. Those surly bastards. They’re everywhere at night. Them and raccoons. Nothing escapes my focus on the mean streets of the gritty city night. I’m on the lookout. So, you lookout, for my lookout. Otherwise you’re toast.

 

There had been a rash of trash-bag tear and scatters around the ‘hood, and I was called in to have a look-see. I usually stick to squirrels, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to spot and chase, especially since the morning squirrel action was suffering a dry spell, lately.

 

I was sniffing around the nearby alleys when I got the call, my partner offered to drive. I wasn’t gonna say no. I’m a sucker for a car ride. And treats. And a belly rub. And … well, a lot of things, which is all right because I’m a dog.

 

The street light illuminated the outside entrance to the Tree Top Lounge. Not an original name, I know, but what do you expect form squirrels? I barked up at the opossum bouncer who hung upside-down at the entrance, his bright eyes belied his laid-back demeanor.

 

I could tell the opossum wasn’t originally from these parts as he spoke with the slightest hint of a southern lilt.

 

“You know, we make sure all our patrons git out of here safe. We’re makin’ sure they got Squber, Sqrlyft or a taxsqui.”

 

I already knew that, but I respected what he was doing - looking out for his employer. Once they get into one of those ride-aways they’re not the proprietor’s responsibility anymore.

 

I asked if he recalled sending off any squirrels that were being a bit out of the ordinarily ornery and stinking of trash.

 

“We don’t let ‘em in if they’re already stinkin’. This here’s a reputable place. If the stink is stunk it’s after they leave this here joint.”

 

This opossum was being no help and I let him know that. I wanted to get to the bottom of this case, tonight.

 

“Well, if’n you’re not awares, a new Racoon family had found its way to the neighborhood recently, and I’d be willin’ to bet that that would coincide with whatever it is you’re investigating.”

 

I knew. I just really wanted it to be squirrels.

 

“You really know how to dampen a dog’s day.”

 

“Night.”

 

See what I mean. I thanked him for his time.

 

“Just watchin’ out for the clients and the owner, don’t need trouble at a reputable establishment. I wanna keep my job.”

 

I made my way over to the storm water drain, the one that leads to the ocean, that was down the street. It was the last place I had seen the Racoon family scamper off to. I let out a few, “Don’t tear open garbage bags and scatter the trash.” and “Stop it! Stop it, now!”, barks.

 

Good enough for me. Case closed. Time to head home for a bellyrub.